THING'S WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT... | Book Review*

Thing's We Didn't Talk About When I Was A Girl by Jeannie Vanasco is such a powerful read. I've mentioned lately how I've been reading memoirs and loving them and this is no exception. Since reading from day one I haven't been able to put it down. Warnings of Rape and Sexual Assault.


15 years ago Jeannie was sexually assaulted by her best friend. In her memoir she covers how this incident in her life affected her then and now. In an interesting move, she decides to confront her rapist after all these years to ask the question, why?

Jeannie has written her memoir in a simple and easy style. It's small chapters helped me read quickly and made the book not so overwhelming due to the heavy subject matter.

I felt like I was there with her in the room while she told her account of what happened. Areas were messy and her thoughts spewed out on to the pages but that added to the feeling of being there.
I wanted to answer back to her whenever she asked a question. I wanted to give my opinion to her as I read along. She writes parts in real time, just like the memoir I recently read by Lauren Graham. And I love that writing style of being in the moment. It makes it raw and real. Throughout the book, Vanasco is constantly struggling and battling with whether she should be feeling how she feels and how she actually feels about the whole situation.

Rape and Sexual Assault are heavily documented in this, not only from her experience from her best friend 15 years ago but also various other times in her life such as teachers & another friend. She mentions various students of hers that have opened up about being violated as well and a heart wrenching moment when she tells of a student that had committed suicide. It packs a punch and really makes you think and see how many women a day are violated and why the #metoo movement is so important. Of course, sexual assault in men needs to be addressed too but women need their voices heard and believed.

Her interview with her rapist is quite interesting, they both try to deal and get answers from that night. Her transcribes of her interview in her memoir were unique. It was interesting to see his point of view on the assault and how it affected him throughout the years. As well as the opinions of her editor, friends and boyfriend. "Mark" didn't get an easy ride in this book but he wasn't portrayed as the demon. It's a civil conversation. Could you talk to your rapist after all these years? I don't think I could if I was in that situation.

This is a powerful memoir full of betrayal, sexual assault, forgiveness and self realization. This book is important for so many reasons and I hope women read this whether or not they have been assaulted. She writes about the need for women to apologize, to back down and downplay violence, the ways people retreat from an assault and how we are seen to others when we call out this disturbing behavior.  It's fascinating and disturbing.

I have never been in a situation where I've been sexually assaulted but I know people who have. And this gives me more understanding. This book is a must read.

*this book was kindly sent to me.